Playlist: Yoga for Former Appointees of a Certain Someone
Compiled By: Susan J. Cook
Watch Your 500 Pound Gorilla Very Carefully: A Citizen's Guide
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:35
Not too long ago, I watched a program about a 500 pound gorilla whose owner taught him to sign. That gorilla, all grown up, would move his finger an inch off his massive thigh and the owner immediately recognized it. “Oh, that’s his sign when he’s whispering- kind of like at a cocktail party when you tell someone something from across the room so no one else will know.“ I will acknowledge here that I implied the owner was reading a lot into what the gorilla did. I said, "I would prefer a gorilla- any day- his place or mine- who was more straight forward. After the Republican Tax Overhaul bill passage, I am reminded: watch the Gorilla carefully.
A Citizen’s Guide
-Susan Cook-
Not too long ago, I watched a program about a 500 pound gorilla whose owner taught him to sign. That gorilla, all grown up, would move his finger an inch off his massive thigh and the owner immediately recognized it. “Oh, that’s his sign when he’s whispering- kind of like at a cocktail party when you tell someone something from across the room so no one else will know.“ I will acknowledge here that I implied the owner was reading alot into what the gorilla did. I said, "I would prefer a gorilla- any day- his place or mine- who was more straightforward."
But just before the song ends, the Senator votes "Yes" on a whisper and a tap on the thigh- Gorilla sign language after all. And she steps and turns around and does the Hokey-pokey and that's what's it's all about.
My 500 Pound Gorilla: A Citizen's Guide
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:11
I watched a program the other night about a 500 pound gorilla, or maybe it was a monkey whose owner taught him sign language. Whatever. I am beginning to think that maybe it was the gorilla who taught the owner to sign. That gorilla, all grown up- would move his finger an inch off his massive thigh- and that owner would coo and delight with immediate recognition. “Oh, that’s his sign when he’s whispering- kind of like at a cocktail party when you tell someone something from across the room so no one else will know.“ I would prefer a gorilla- any day- his place or mine- who was more straightforward. Or maybe- since I don’t know any gorillas personally- people who are straightforward.
This reminds of many things in life, but since the political season is upon us let’s start there. We have become a populace that will fill in the rest of the sentence, thought, public policy and legislative document for any gorilla. The gorilla gestures “gun control”, we fill in the sentence. The gorilla says “pro-life”, we fill in the rest. The gorilla says “fiscal irresponsibility”, we know what he means. I take this opportunity to remind you, we don’t know what the gorilla actually thinks. This is worse than sound bites. This is human beings reading gorilla’s minds.
- Playing
- My 500 Pound Gorilla: A Citizen's Guide
- From
- Susan J. Cook
I’d love to know what it means when the 500 pound gorilla crosses his fingers. It’s one good thing you can say about the legal profession has over the rest of the world- at least they require details.
In the Dept of Poetic Justice! Bannon's New Mic Technique with Lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook!
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:05
Bannon's free yoga, Pranayama and no more stuffy nose!
Bannon's New Mic Technique
(To the tune from “I'll Be Seeing You")
I’ve been working on it.
I mean my Mic technique.
I know you haven’t heard it
But I'll be out in about 10 weeks.
Whereas now where I'm working
The yoga class is free,
Ojai breathing, pranayama helps enormously.
Thinking back, I sounded stuffy.
My allergies were tweaked.
The medications didn’t help.
No, I was not smoking weed.
You know the name of my program
needs a General's bark.
When my nose was all stuffed up,
That usually was hard.
Speaking of My General,
Of course I’m still with him.
I watch his rallies when I can.
Yes, crowd numbers seem they’re still
Smaller than they were
When my program was on the air.
If that's because I’m now Off-air
More guilt than I can bear.
When I am at yoga
And they have us meditate,
I’ve got to tell you God is better
Than that really lame technique.
My thoughts are worth big money
Which is why I gave my all
And deserved a cut from
those donations to build the Wall.
So when I hit the airwaves,
To inspire all of you. My Mike
Technique upgraded,
Admiral Bannon on his toes!
It may be the pranayama
Which I’m going to emphasize
Makes My General levitate
Or at least he tries.
Bannon, Santa Claus and all that in The Dept. of Poetic Justice
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 05:00
A lyrical tribute from one Special Viewer observing the 2020 Republican National Convention and a certain Pardon being given by You Know Who!
One thing in the jail cell
would not come my way.
Bannon's Farewell: An Addendum "I Was Seeing Him"
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:47
Great American Wrong Book lyrics for Mr. Bannon, now that Roger Stone, one of 6 of his former campaign colleagues indicted, is one of 3 now convicted.
Addendum to Bannon's Farewell. "I Was Seeing Him..."
to the tune from "I'll Be Seeing You.."
-Susan Cook-
I was seeing him, yes
it was a minor whim
I probably should have stayed home
watching re-runs of
a certain Cosa Nostra film .
I had no idea
it was a favorite of his too.
I was hard at work helping You-Know-Who.
So I guess I'll change my pattern.
Try to get back to the gym.
Do a lot more yoga.
See if my PC could possibly fit in
The next space launch they're having
maybe Elon Musk could try
get it out there- headed straight
for Mars, hey, maybe for Saturn.
Actually, I barely knew him.
Roger Boulder, was that him?
The other thing I do not do
is send out emails
on a whim.
I hope you understand emails
easily are faked.
The important things- I say, face-to-face.
That was why I saw him briefly,
usually at yoga class.
He is a big tanner.
Not my style. Burns my nose too fast.
I spend enough time dealing
with my allergies to dust.
How I got by with no yoga,
Let's just say, it's now a must.
Now I won't be seeing him
at yoga anymore.
It may be a little while before
a class offered near him. But more
and more, federal prisons opt
to have it. Keeps the prisoners calm.
No more tanning booths.
Just downward facing dog.
I will not be seeing him.
I got my computer cleaned up.
Gee, I'm sorry that he's hit
a road bump. Sort of a hiccup.
I don't think back to those days,
I secretly admired
Mr. Mueller. Those head stand shoulders,
shout out, Yoga something he has tried.
AND DON'T FORGET!
THE ORIGINAL!
A Poetic Tribute to the Departure of Mr. Bannon’
To the Tune from ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’
Susan Cook-
read between the fine lines,
called reporters back,
still read things in The New York Times,
I didn’t ever bother,
I never used words like suck or cock.
I’m a journalist.
You know I just like to talk.
I am kind of Presidential.
I think that came through.
Yes I’m allergic to
Certain foods, mold, cat dander too.
That’s why my nose looked stuffy
Kind of red, yes, my eyes too,
never got a chance to Photoshop
my best side for you.
they both do
A certain kind of yoga pose,
I’ll tell you just between us too,
I think yoga is liberal ,
Mahatma Gandhi had his version too
Who’d do that kind of thing?
Alt-left wingers ok Melania, too.
There might be a yoga version
made with alt-right guys in mind,
Politically on target
Where you keep your ammo by your side
I won’t have that much time,
I am not planning to retire
I’ll be back at Breitbart,
White guys only need apply!
starting his own studio,
Sean Spicer, Reince, maybe even
Mitch McConnell might decide to go
And when the class is over
Lying in Shavasana,
They will all be chanting
Three times,
What happened,
Ohm, Ohm, Ohm, Ohm.
l
''Bannon's Farewell Pose'' to the tune of ''I'll Be Seeing You''! Lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook!
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:18
In the Department of Poetic Justice, to the tune from 'I'll Be Seeing You', an Ohm for Mr. Bannon, updated now that he refuses an Insurrection Day subpoena.
Addendum to Bannon's Farewell Pose
Now that there's been progress re-electing You-Know-Who.
Not much time for yoga, An update on just what I do
day-to-day to keep busy, besides yoga, there's something new:
doing lots of favors those with repayments due!
As you know my allergies keep me on my toes.
It turns out using shaving cream, reeks havoc with my nose.
Yes it is a trade-off, 5 days' stubble keeps down the rose-
colored nose liberals said caused by something that rhymes with “So”.
I've maintained my regimen with someone I advise.
It's just my personality, “My Leader Do-or-Die”.
It hasn't made me famous. The liberal press think I would lie
about things like if You-Know-Who had gotten me re-hired.
No, the White House had not yet, given me a call
on January fifth or sixth. At least, I don't recall
if my direct deposit shows my paychecks still legal
right on time to see if I was still working there after all.
No, I won't go testify. My phone messages are off
limits. Details of my day-to-day are really all I've got
to build up my retirement. There's a book deal I might sign.
Want to know what he said? Find my book on Amazon!
Bringing The Truck To Yoga
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:00
I am trying to care for the health of someone special by bringing him to my yoga class and his insurance is required!!..
- Playing
- Bringing The Truck To Yoga
- From
- Susan J. Cook
Human Resource Guy Scarramouchi on Bannon's Farewell: Department of Poetic Justice
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:29
Turning to the Department of Poetic Justice and the tune from "I'll Be Seeing You", a poetic tribute to Scarramouchi's recent observation about why Mr. Bannon left the White House staff.
(To the tune from "I'll Be Seeing You" from The Great American Wrongbook)
before his career took off.
You all know the job he left.
He used to hand out check-lists.
"Do you work best by your self?
When you're on a team
are you at your best?"
when his country asked him to
step up to do public service
for a special "You know who."
He had his checklists with him
mentally completed them.
Myers-Briggs profiles
can predict success.
Of course Bannon's would have helped
Presidential spokesperson
not the best use of Bannon's time.
Scarramouchi knew this
which is why he later said,
"Bannon's problem is he was a bad hire."
makes a world of difference.
Intuition better left behind
when the country faces a crisis,
Thinking qualitatively
leaves feeling far behind.
Bannon, soon would show,
constant judging his gift.
knew that was Bannon's profile.
Extrovert, intuitive,
feeling, judging all the time.
Alas, Joint Chiefs of Staff
all come up as introverts.
Sensing, thinking,
perceiver on the Myers-Briggs.
Myers-Briggs work from his HR days.
Tried to tell the President
Bannon will not last, not with his profile this way.
HR skills may be what
Scarramouchi brought with him.
His Legacy knowing Bannon
was not a good hire.....
A Citizen's Guide to Acupuncture
From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:54
Acupuncture is an ancient intervention for helping
raise "chi"- pronounced "GEE" in English. For those for whom acupuncture treatments have enhanced the "Gee", whose pain is freed, who feel better when their energy finally runs true, what a discovery! Well, re-discovery because it's been around 5000 years. But, once they try it, reality seems clearer! And who is not made better by a genuine, legitimate, valid check with reality?
- Playing
- A Citizen's Guide to Acupuncture
- From
- Susan J. Cook
