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Playlist: The Two and One-half Minute Conspiracy Theory: Assorted

Compiled By: Susan Cook

Caption: PRX default Playlist image

In just 2 and 1/2 minutes, facts, truth and speculation curated into conspiracy theories.
Questions you thought no one would ask, asked.

The Two and 1/2 Minute Conspiracy Theory: The Best Conspiracies Are Those In Which Co-conspirators Didn't Sign Up, Weren't Asked, Don't Know They're Part of It

From Susan Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:55

The highest production of greenhouse gases in the US comes from the West Jefferson, Alabama Miller Electric Plant. The parent company- The Southern Company- says they have spent billions on emission reduction- for mercury and sulphur dioxide. They omit that the fact that the 12 billion spent is over 11 utilities in 9 states. Also didn’t say the Southern Company spent 14 million on lobbyists to eliminate EPA regulations to protect the environment.

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The 2 and ½ Minute Conspiracy Theory- The Best Conspiracies Those In Which the Co-Conspirators Didn’t Sign Up,  Weren’t Asked To Agree To and Don’t Know They’re Part of 
-Susan Cook-
Today’s 2 and ½ minute Conspiracy Theory is that the best conspiracies are ones where the co-conspirators didn’t sign up, weren’t asked, and don’t know they’re part of it.  On NPR, I heard a Marketplace report about the James H. Miller, Jr Electric Generating Plant - coal-fired-  that produces more greenhouse gas annually than any other place in the country-  19 million metric tons. A passenger car emits 4.7 metric tons annually. The Miller plant in West Jefferson, Alabama emits the equivalent of 4 million passenger cars, annually.  Wild speculation here  that the workers do not sign a document promising to ‘hold harmless’ the company if some higher power, like the EPA  sues  the Miller Plant for destroying the environment, the Earth. A court somewhere might decide that every single worker walking through the door punching the time clock bears responsibility for the devastation of global warming because they are the ones flipping the levers, turning the dials, closing chambers. Airplanes can‘t take off  anymore because the air is too hot and too thin and there‘s not enough lift for flying. Extreme weather conditions, wild fires, wind storms making the planet uninhabitable. The one degree increase in temperature raising ocean levels because of the melting polar ice caps. Here’s the conspiracy theory  The company didn’t tell the workers they are part of the gradual destruction of a liveable earth. All those workers -unwitting co-conspirators - weren’t told, didn’t know to ask, just like in every atrocity in the history of human kind when one person flipping the switch, lifting the rifle, turning the dial is part of a bigger conspiracy. The conspiracy for the Miller plant, to hide the fact that 19 million tons of greenhouse gas harms. The parent company- The Southern Company had their Miller spokesperson say they have spent billions to correct emission of mercury, sulphur dioxide. The spokesperson omitted that the  fact that the 12 billion spent is over 11 utilities in 9  states . He also didn’t say the Southern Company spent 14 million on lobbyists to eliminate EPA regulations to protect the environment.

The Two and One-Half Minute Conspiracy: Is Congress Losing Credibility as a Moral Proving Ground?

From Susan Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:57

Some places, for example, the Intelligence Committee of the United States Senate serve as our country's moral proving ground. But this week‘s testimony from the United States Attorney General Mr. Sessions raises the concern Congress is losing its credibility and stature as a moral proving ground. Here was Mr. Sessions, the profound skeptic on the defensive, accusing the US Senate Intelligence Committee of secret innuendo making. The Committee members navigated territory they always have- the moral proving ground of disputed versions of events.

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The Two and One-half Minute Conspiracy Theory -
Is Congress Losing Credibility as a Moral Proving Ground?


-Susan Cook-
I heard a Buddhist teacher talk recently about the meaning of charnel ground in Buddhist theologies. That’s where spiritual metamorphous takes place.  Many people seek moral redemption there but are surprised and dismayed when they confront all the illicit, dark-sided stuff they thought they were leaving behind. Convicted felons, broken promise-makers, adulterers, liars, thieves,  dens of iniquity. Turns out it is real life which , as you can well imagine, is not pristine and untainted. And there you  are , another Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron says, and you start where you are.  Getting there doesn’t mean you are granted immediate moral redemption or immunity or a step up on the moral hierarchy. And the convicted felon still is not the best candidate to be entrusted to guard the financial assets or electronic personal information or the precious jewels. The spiritual bump and grind still lies ahead.

We hope that some places are far from the charnel ground, for example, the Intelligence Committee of the United States Senate as its own moral proving ground. But I’m not so sure about that . This week‘s testimony from the United States Attorney General Mr. Sessions suggests Congress is losing its credibility and stature as a moral proving ground. Here was Mr. Sessions, the profound skeptic, carefully stepping around heaps of collected uncertain material, on the defensive alleging secret innuendo of uncertain nature or origin. And here was his indignation that he was being asked about betrayal, broken promises-  certainly the stuff of which the charnel ground is made. No moral redemption seeking from this testifier. Mr. Sessions’ indignation took precedence over this Committee, still commissioned as one of this country’s many moral proving grounds- no matter how questionable and mucky the wading ground. If the US Attorney General doesn’t respect that, then maybe a conspiracy theory is warranted- that this country as a moral proving ground is seriously threatened and maybe that will stir our collective aspiration to protect the moral proving ground we‘ve always - and the world- turned toward.  

A Citizen’s Guide to Small-minded Denigration: A Sixty Second Moral Inquiry, Two and ½ Minute Conspiracy Theory presented in a Sonnet for The Department of Poetic Justice

From Susan Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:34

In honor of the upcoming Presidential race, The River Is Wide presents a melding of our favorite features. A Citizen's Guide, A Sixty Second Moral Inquiry and Two and 1/2 Minute Conspiracy Theory presented in a Sonnet to place In the Department of Poetic Justice. Random The River Is Wide Series is not.
The topic:
A Citizen’s Guide to Small-minded Denigration (or a Conspiracy to Throw the Ethical Female Presidential Candidate Under the Bus for what She has Never Done).

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A Citizen’s Guide to Small-minded Denigration  (or a Conspiracy to Throw the Ethical Female Presidential Candidate Under the Bus for what She has Never Done):
A Sixty Second Moral Inquiry, Two and ½ Minute Conspiracy Theory presented in a Sonnet for The Department of Poetic Justice
Diligent Presidents also can be
women. Intelligent, insightful,
reliable, prestigious, humanly
accomplished, with sound judgment? Delightful!
What will have nothing to do with the job
she will do is the employee who lacked
judgment and chose a sick ex-husband, robbed 
sense.  The staffer, small-minded, at the back
of the  bus, the Opponent now sinks to
say, should be used to run out the admired
Woman, who should be President, linked to
small mindeds just because of who she hired.
Hostile cruel minds Either sex can be numb.
Formidable President?  She’s the one.

Today's Two and One Half Minute Conspiracy Theory: The Secretary's Secretary

From Susan Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:14

Today The River Is Wide introduces a new specialty item : the two and a half minute Conspiracy Theory. We don’t want to ramble. We’ll keep it brief- Betty Crocker-style.. But you know how one girl‘s deeply observant attention can be well- just another conspiracy theory. So we begin.
You don't suppose all this baking away about Hillary Clinton's decision to receive 4 classified emails on a hacker proof blackberry mobile device is sexist, do you?

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Today’s Two Minute and a half minute Conspiracy Theory
The Secretary’s Secretary
-Susan Cook-
Today The River Is Wide introduces a new specialty item : the two and a half minute Conspiracy Theory. :We don’t want to ramble. We’ll keep it brief- Betty Crocker-style.. But you know how one girl‘s deeply observant  attention can be well- just  another conspiracy theory. So we begin.
 Men have secretaries in the United States of America. Girls don’t. Men need them because men make important decisions like when the United States of America goes to war or doesn’t go to war or which other men’s countries the United States of America will be friends with or trust. So they need a secretary- they have to have them to make decisions about ‘Is this a classified email?” “Does ‘C’ stand for ‘cute’ at the front of the email? The man’s secretary figures that out and his secretary will have permission to even open the email because the man is so busy making big, big decisions, he doesn’t have time.
Now if a girl has a job that a man usually has she can’t have a secretary like a man does . She can do this stuff herself. She can call the IT guy herself and she can read the whole State Department manual about classified or secret or confidential emails herself. A man, of course, can rely on his secretary to do this because that’s what girls do.  But if a girl for some strange reason becomes a Secretary like Secretary of State she won’t be able to have a secretary because girls don’t and if they do they’re usually a b------ to them because they’re not use to having a secretary because they’re girls not men.  So anything that a man’s secretary would do, she has done all by herself.
Today’s 2  and a half minute conspiracy theory? Maybe  there’s a strong sexist tendency in this good old boy United States of America that if the girl is doing something really really big- like trying to get elected as President of the United States of America which men always do-  and the media drills down and down and down about how she handled emails on a hacker safe blackberry emails and the 4 emails that had classified designation- you know things that a man would have his secretary do for him if he was doing the job- men are so so generous in the big, big responsibilities they let girl secretaries try out- ok, here’s the conspiracy theory for today, you don’t suppose that over and over questioning Secretary Clinton about her’ handling’ of secure material is deeply entrenched, and the usually deeply damaging  sexism do you?

Birthing the Newest Political Hypocrites- The Two 1/2 Minute Conspiracy Theory

From Susan Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:08

This week the United States Senate voted to overrule the intention of the Founding Fathers and disregard the process that give minority membership voice.They invoked the 'nuclear option' to stop the filibuster of the nomination of Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court. But what did the United States Senate really do. Today's Two and One-half Minute Conspiracy Theory offers, well, a conspiracy theory.

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Birthing the Newest Hypocrite: The 2 and ½ Minute Conspiracy Theory
-Susan Cook-
Today’s Two and ½ Minute Conspiracy Theory explains what the United States Senate has really done this week by  changing rules to stop the filibuster of anti-reproductive rights Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch. They have given birth to our newest hypocrite. No, we’ re not talking about  denying preventive health care or  access to contraception -also known as reproductive rights- and guaranteed prenatal care to prevent  neonatal intensive care hospitalizations and infant mortality.
No, today’s conspiracy theory is that a brand spanking new hypocrite called the Plan C United States Senate has been born to replace Plan A United States Senate and Plan B United States Senate. Now, not every state has a member in Plan C United States Senate. My state has just one.
Plan C United States Senate  was born after the rules of Plan A United States Senate such as those laid in the past by Founding Fathers, didn’t get someone what he wanted, because someone had set in motion Plan B also known as a filibuster. Didn’t like that, so you give birth to Plan C United States Senate. Now, Plan C United States Senate was not laid by the founding fathers either. No matter. A man wants what he wants when he wants it. So you give birth to Plan C United States Senate.  That means you do not give another thought to who will have to live - ultimately- with the consequences of what you have done, no matter how cruel, how completely self-serving, and how damaging and miserable life will be.
Even if you claim, like the member of the Plan C United States Senate from my state, to really, really, really respect the rules of Plan  A US Senate. So, you always give everyone in the United States Senate a chance to vote on a nominee for a position by shuffling your deck just so to make sure the person receives the approval of the committee you’re on even if you say the person is not qualified for the position.  
The 2 and ½ Minute Conspiracy theory about Plan C United States Senate is that a brand new hypocrite has been born . You know what hypocrites think. Not my problem. Not her problem if the United States Senate is not a viable , breathing governing body- but a shell of itself. A shill, I mean, a hypocrite. A shill.